Changing your perspective on how you view disappointment will change your life.
The point of this post was to remind you all that any hiccup you may experience will serve a greater purpose in the grand scheme of your life
Happy Monday everyone!! I hope you are all feeling rested and ready to take on whatever exciting hurdles that come your way this week. If not, too bad for you! LOL I kid , I kid.
Anyways this week I wanted to have a bit of a heart to heart with you all, because I’ve been in a really weird place with life lately. Although I’ve accomplished so many goals that I set for myself this year, I’ve been pretty down (hence the lack of regularly updated posts) and I’ve been struggling to find motivation, both as an artist and just in my general life. Most of you know that I am a blogger, poet and choreographer in my free time. That doesn’t leave much free time when you measure the 24 hours we have in a day, most of which are spent at work, keeping up with the social aspects of your life while trying to find time for yourself and of course sleep. Despite the challenges, I’ve always found a way to make it work, even if that meant draining myself for commitments that I didn’t care for, just to make sure that no one was disappointed. Even at young age I was like this. I get attached to people easily and feel like they have to stay in my life through any means necessary. So on the surface it may look like I have a shitload of friends, but on the contrary, I just meet a lot of people through different social networks and feel the need to keep them in my life for whatever purpose they serve. Some people that purpose is for turn up, others it might be for art, genuine social connection…I think you get the point. It takes A LOT for me to let go.So anyways, why have I been down?
Aside from the pressures of being a creative and the bullshit that comes from a 9-5, I’ve experienced things that have made me come to the conclusion that humans are programmed to be disappointments. I’ve touched on this in a couple of posts, but on the real, shit changes when you strive to find yourself or succeed in finding yourself. All of a sudden people move funny, like either they support you, but treat you like a peasant because they are supporting you, or they just support you from the sidelines. My sideline supporters are those that have your back until the going gets tough, or those that will like your posts when you launch a business but never spend a dime for your product. Yeah, them. So as a result of similar experiences, I’ve really been in my feelings when it comes to my day to day interactions with people. Like why am I working so hard to be a support system for others, but then left in the dark when I need the same? Why am I spending all this time creating art for people and being ignored? Why do I have all of these people around me serving as temporal sources of happiness but adding no real benefit in my life? Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure I’m equally a disappointment to others, but lately it feels like I’m getting it in daily doses.
Here’s the thing, remember earlier when I mentioned that I have a lot of people in my life that I’ve kept around for some kind of purpose… well that’s just it. Am I really that foolish not to realize that I’m also serving some type of purpose in their lives as well? The person I thought I had a genuine social connection with may like me, but they don’t actually care for what I bring to the table. It doesn’t make them a bad person or me a stupid person. At the end of the day we’re really all just beings floating in time and filling voids in each other’s lives.What season are you in?
I’ve met a lot of really amazing folks through my dance classes. These are people that can’t even tell you my middle name, but they will put so much energy into my classes and making sure that my work doesn’t go unnoticed. This weekend I led two Afro workshops for about a hundred people out of nowhere, because someone in my studio saw my potential and wanted to put me on to a new community of Latin dancers in Calgary. The love and energy in that room was something that I haven’t felt in a long time, and it made me remember why I fell in love with dancing in the first place. There’s just this intense feeling of liberation that you feel as a dancer, especially when you are surrounded by people that are in that moment with you. As a result, I connected with a group of really enthusiastic dancers that believe in what I’m doing and want to support me in whatever way they can. That’s truly a feeling that money can’t buy.What now?
One of my favourite prayers is the Serenity prayer. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference”. I like to say this prayer to myself when I experience disappointment, but it’s like my heart never actually takes in what I’m reciting. I’ve had similar experiences to the dance story I shared, but that particular story really put this prayer into perspective for me. I know it seems like “well big deal she did a dance for some people”, but honestly, that dance and those people were needed at this point in my life. I’ve wasted way too much energy over the years on people and things that should have expired ages ago. I’ve been too scared of change and in doing so, I’ve missed out on so much time and energy that could have been used focusing on the people that actually matter.
Okay, time to wrap it up. So the point of this post was to remind you all that any hiccup you may experience will serve a greater purpose in the grand scheme of your life. Some people are meant to stay in your life and some people aren’t, but everyone will come or go as a lesson for you to learn. Whether it is to help you grow, create happiness or whatever, just know that the universe has a way of perfectly timing who you meet and why. Trust in yourself and everything will play out just as it should in the right time.
With that, I wish you all a blessed week!